उम्मीद -ए-यार नज़र का मिजाज़ दर्द का रंग
तुम आज कुछ भी न पूछो की दिल उदास बहुत है ..

If mood swing were anything to do with one's core characteristics, I wish I wasn't made with these elements.But that is hardly you can choose. I should play to the ball which is in my court.

There are times in your life when it seems nothing is going to work how hard you try.Having said that you must strive hard to get the result because that is the only thing,you can control anything other than that is beyond you.There is no point weeping buckets for your failure .you should be courageous enough to try one more time .Damn are they who don't try after failing.It is try that makes living else you are as good as a stone who is kept at a single place unless someone lift this and throw.

Let me see the sun again..

A trek to remember

"she is a Muslim girl " said the man. We said did it really matter from which community she belong when you are madly in love with her. He said no and he would take any measure to see to it that she gets married with him if it takes him to kidnap the girl. This is power of love otherwise a simple chaiwala would not have dared to say this in full glare..Now I could easily relate to Jagjit singh singing " Ishq ki dastaan hai pyari/ Apni apni jubaan hai pyari" .

The conversation we had with this chaiwala happened when we stopped to take some rest en route kalsubai. Kalsubai peak (1640 meter) is the highest peak of Sahyadri range. Trek to Kalsubai was actually an extension of the previous Torna trekking. Ravi, Varun, Satish, Pulkit and me decided to start our journey on the Friday night Dec 24th. We started our journey around 11 o' clock and reached kalsubai at 8:30 in the morning. Travelling in the winter night is not easy as you tend to go into sleep very easily and ravi was the only driver we had. So to give him much needed rest we stopped here and there and that is how we came to know about this lovely story. We could not have asked for the better environment for this. We, sitting on chairs placed in circular fashion and wood fire be at the center of it. I felt as if warmth of love had the same soothing effect as the fire had on us in this cold foggy night . After an hour we again started towards the destination.. By this time we all were feeling sleepy except ravi afterall a driver does not have this luxury.:-) The best time to see a mountainside is morning, I can tell you that. It all felt serene and out of india if not out of world.. valley covered with fog was like watching a beautiful wallpaper,yet it was as lively as it could be.. Some pictures got clicked and we further moved . As shakespeare says joy of work is not in the result but in the doing.. reaching to the top of it is an achievement in itself with the line of bodily efforts it needs to conquer. More than body it requires a resolute mind to have this done.. To of the essence of mountaing is to explore how far you can take yourself from your comfort zone.. How far you can go to redefine your limit.. That is all about it..

lost in transition

"How do you describe yourself " when being asked , I said Some one who is indecisive . I guess that is the reality. Always took the road ..never went ahead to make one.. what could be the reason behind this.. may be family obligation lurking somewhere in the back of my mind or could be the case that I was never prepared to change easily.It always required a push from someone that started the transition hitherto I should embrace change for that is only thing permanent in the universe..

Feeling alone sometimes.. Could not meet arpit, despite numerous attempt could not contact ajit.. He is getting married on the 8th.. Sorry to have missed his marriage.. I wonder sometimes If I 'll attend my marriage or not..:-) life is going frantic with anger and frustration. no shoulders to cry on..

Happy Dussehra to me :-(

sitting alone and finding no one to talk . Situation can be more intriguing then it appears at the first place. Sometimes it feels as if I am living in a desert . Loneliness and Solitude are two faces of the same coin.May be I should prepare myself to understand this to the words.

Called some friends to call on.. but to no avail.. Even SMS went unnoticed.

Feeling alone...:-(

Happy dussehra to Me anyway..

Introspection...

Am I lost ? this is the question I keep asking myself these days without getting answer or am I afraid to be answered in YES.If it is the case what can be done to move back to the right path. At the first place I have to prioritize things and problem begins here itself.When you have too many things on your plate ,you tend to vacillate about things.In that case the only solution I can think of is to make sure that there are few number of item at my disposal. Like a horse with the eye fold let me run in the straight path without getting distracted which is always easier said than done.Victory comes with perseverance and let me check if i could make myself aloof doing one thing at a time. Distractions are bound to happen but to deal with them is an art .Let me draw myself again..alone ruminating pondering in place of a convivial living. It is time to act else everything would be lost forever.I shall put a price on every passing seconds.Let this strategy works .. here comes one more addition to the distraction.. DVD of "Mirza Ghalib by Gulzar".. Hope finds me doing good...

Like others , i too enjoying watching raining . Sitting on the Fence ,waiting for someone i went into deep thought about the reason why did i like it at the first place. What is it that attracts everyone when he sees it. I related it to the calmness one acquires when he is finished with the Emotional outburst (read Weeping). High is the downpour and happier is the mood.. i am not sure if Freud would agree on this explanation of mine..

Getting drench in rain is even more sublime. It cleans you from inside and makes you feel freshen up. If you could remember the exalted feeling of Tim Robbins in "Shawshank Redemption" when he comes out of the tunnel in the midst of rain.

on a dull Friday Evening..

Life is a series of ups and downs. I would like to believe the life to be that way only. The charm of leading a life is to keep exploring yourself and be ready for anything that come your way .Exploration would let you know about the resources hidden inside you ,which you need in the case of handling a tough situation.So keep searching for the resources.

I was released from the project on 28th may. However little be the attachment,but i was part of it. Though i never felt that i belonged there. Yes, I was out of Place yet ironically i felt a sense of belonging after being released. Emotion will never let you tread on a single path.

Day before yesterday I saw a glimmer of hope.But as they say there is many a slips between cup and lip.. Managers are like Dapper always on Ass and usually full of shit..And this also describes my manager. As Shakespeare says "For Brutus is an honorable man, so are all an honorable man". But Caesar won't be deceived this time by Brutus . God bless my manager some sense and me some chances .. I don't want to go into ditch again . I want to take the bull by its horns this time. let's see what is there in the store for me. I Believe, everything happens for the best . so be it....:-)